What does it mean to be interdependent? Do you sometimes equate interdependence to being weak and dependent? The sixth principle of Interpersonal Wellness is interdependence. We are nothing if not interdependent. Every life transaction requires us to rely on someone else to participate. According to the dictionary – Interdependence is being mutually and physically responsible to sharing a common set of principles with others. Research shows that we are most happy when we are in an interdependent relationship. This means that we are in intimate or social relationships with mutual responsibility and in which we share common values. This does not mean that we helpless but rather that based on our shared common values, we have evaluated and decided to let ourself be mutually vulnerable. To be interdependent is to be human. It is very different from being co-dependent. Co-dependency is when two or more dependent people rely on and react to each other in a negative, dysfunctional or psychological way.
On the contrary it takes an independent person who is secure in himself and his values to be in an interdependent relationship. Interdependence is a functional aspect of socialization and social beings. There is little that we can do without sharing with others. Interdependence occurs when the sharing is mutual or reciprocated. Since so much of what we do and who we are as humans is subject to others for success. It is therefore very important for us to develop a healthy sense of our personal impact on others and on the universe. Without this we will become cruel, discriminating, unkind, disrespectful and intolerable. Awareness and observance of our interdependence will help us to be accepting of others and their diverse ways. It will make us less likely to manipulate and coerce others. It will galvanize us to do something to help those in need and instil in us social consciousness with which to care for our environment and the diversity that makes up our world.
I urge you to consider the level of interdependence in your relationships in 2011 as I believe it is the foundation of your being able to reach your life success goals. Don’t stay in a relationship that is co-dependent or that manipulative. Seek the highest level of interdependence and remember the Golden Rule this year. Share with us how you intend to heighten your interdependence in 2011.
Happy New Year