Almost all us have been hurt or betrayed by the words, thoughtlessness, actions or inactions of another person. This stirs up anger, frustration, and disappointment in us and often a sense of betrayal and a desire for revenge. At times our hurt is so deep we decide to expel that person off from our life. Often the ones who cause us the greatest pain are the ones we have trusted the most, hence the depth of our hurt, distrust, resentment and feeling of betrayal.
It is safe to say that this is the case for many individuals and coaching clients. Most are looking for ways to move forward in their lives, to overcome obstacles such as past hurts as they strive to grow or to set and reach new goals. Many are unaware that forgiveness of past hurts could be the key to their moving forward and reaching their goals. The coaching process provides an excellent structure to help clients assess the cause of their roadblocks and to examine issues of forgiveness and other “Underlying Commitments” that may be holding them back.
Acknowledgement is a very important coaching tool to help clients with issues of forgiveness and reconciliation. Acknowledgement of past hurts and the resulting perspectives and shift in thinking can be addressed in the coaching process if the purpose is not to relive but to move forward. This can be instrumental in helping clients become aware of the various stages of grief and their need to acknowledge and move forward to a place of personal reconcilement with the past. When done well this may lead to forgiveness for self and at times even reconciliation of the relationship.
Joyce Odidison is a Conflict Analyst, Coach, and founder of Interpersonal Wellness Services Inc. & Coaching Institute. She consults, teaches and coaches with mid-career professionals and organizations to improve performance within the workplace. She can be reached at email@example.com or by phone at: 1-877-999-9591.