Anger is a secondary emotion we feel instead of pain, hurt, disappointment, sadness or loss. We often use anger to mask underlying feelings we don’t want to examine or don’t know are present. Often when we become seized by anger we are unable to consider the ramifications or consequences. We are gripped with the physiological experiences of anger and seldom have the capacity to consider our actions. The time to manage anger is before we get angry; this includes the thoughts we have about ourselves and others and the things we consider as appropriate actions or responses. If we take time to plan to be angry without offending others we will be more intentional and purposeful. We can even begin by exploring the things we want to do and say when we are angry, try out appropriate comments or responses and give ourselves permission to express our anger in a respectful way. In my social media chatter this week on the topic someone post that women are not allowed to have angry feelings. We know how silly that is as everyone has the ability to feel angry. Often we are socialized in an environment where we had poor anger responses demonstrated – on a range from repression and internalization of anger to rage. It is important for you to come up with your own responses to anger, remember you and only you are responsible for your angry responses and no one should be blamed for making you angry. Only you can control how you feel and it is your choice whether to be angry, hurt or disappointed about someone else’s actions or lack of action. Join our upcoming anger management group coaching session to gain hands on tools to improve your anger.
To You Wellness
Joyce Odidison is a Conflict Analyst, Strategist, Interpersonal Wellness Expert and Executive Coach, Creator of Interpersonal Wellness Coaching and Workplace Wellness Assistance Program. She is also director of ICF approved training for Coaches and Wellness Facilitators in Manitoba. You can learn about the IWS Network of Coaches and Facilitators by clicking the link below.